Don’t get me wrong I love a bit of romance, you know the feeling you get when they look at you, the butterflies in your stomach, the secret love notes…. the restraining orders.

But for those of you who don’t have that special one this day is basically like walking around alone with a label on your forehead that reads LONER! I mean its the one day of the year where it seems my parents are cooler then me, it’s a knife through the heart when they casually drop the babysitting hints and you try and erase any image that was just created from your memory.

It’s at the point where sitting through a special ‘Valentines day gives you chlamydia’ assembly, I actually begin to think that all these lucky fucker’s will get an STD and all I have is take out for one and a Tom Hanks movie.

So for all you bitter, lonely losers out there here is proof that love sucks:



American Psycho:



The Perfect catch – He’s Young, rich, handsome and mostly naked… however he will take you home cut off your head and put it in the freezer. Suddenly being single isn’t looking to bad.

The Break up:



The Ultimate Anti-love film. Most people will tell you that relationships are worth the break-up, well I say ermmm no there fucking not. Seeing a break up played out live in front of you makes you realise this, so just think all those people looking smug today will be crying on your shoulder some time lets say..oohh next week.

Revolutionary Road:



And I thought the book was depressing. Revolutionary Road proves that Kate and Leo just don’t work as a couple, if their not plummeting to their deaths in the middle of the ocean then their fighting constantly in Suburbia. This film is proof that marriage sucks and really not worth the hassle.





Atonement:



This has got to be the most depressing story ever written, ever (well despite Wuthering heights and maybe Tess of the Durbervilles) I mean if love will get you accused of rape, locked up and sent to war why bother. But don’t worry they’ll get back together. Erm yeah right! This film is like a massive slap in the face, I don’t wanna spoil the ending but … THEY ALL FUCKING DIE.

Mr and Mrs Smith:



So you married a CIA agent and your both on different side…thats gonna put a strain on your sex life. Okay this might not appear to be the ultimate Anti-Love Film, I mean they get together in the end right. WRONG. What about poor Jennifer, see you think the CIA agent storyline sucked, well I’ve got a new one, its about a wife who lets her husband be in a film with Angelina Jolie. Now thats a fucking Anti- love story!





American Beauty:

Ah Mid-life crisis galore, despite the rose petals this film is far from romantic. Kevin Spacey tries to turn his life around but to no avail, his life sucks, his wife is cheating on him, his daughter hates him and he’s trying to sleep with a cheerleader…oh and he could really care less.